"Sky is the Limit"

When I think of the lesson Land is Life the first thing that comes to mind is my dad. He grew up in a small province called the Bikol. His entire family is still there today. While growing up my dad would tell me stories of how he would walk to school bare foot in the rain or if he was lucky he could ride the carabao. At the time, I was only in elementary school and I didn't believe what he was saying. I thought it was a story he would tell me just so I would stop complaining about going to school. Now that I am older I know those stories are a reality and are very much true. The only memory I have of my dad's side is a picture of me with my grandparents. It makes me kind of mad knowing I can't remember anything from the last time I was in the Philippines, but then again the last time I was there I was only eight. I can't imagine how hard it must be for my dad to have his entire family in the Philippines. I told my dad that I want to go to the Philippines and stay with my grandparents. He said sure why not, but I told him I want to go to the Philippines and experience it my way. When I say my way I mean by actually doing everything he had to do when he was growing up there. My dad straight up laughed in my face saying he doesn't think I could do it. And then I told him that's why I want to do. I appreciate the things I have in my life, but I believe by experiencing this I will have an even deeper appreciation and an expanded perspective to life in the Philippines.

I don't want luxury when I go to the Philippines, I want the reality. This past October my best friend went to the Philippines for the very first time. The interesting thing about my friend is that he is not Pilipino, he's Australian. Brown hair, blue eyes, white skin; someone that definitely stood out. When he came back and told me about his trip I got annoyed and irritated with him. He would tell me about all the things he did, all the stuff he bought, how cheap everything was, and how small the Wowowee studio really is. I was so annoyed I didn't let him finish the conversation and walked out on him. After realizing what I just did I didn't know why I was so upset. But then it hit me, I was upset because he played the typical "White Tourist". He came into the Philippines and observed what he thought was the usual lifestyle. Everyone was nice to him and was willing to help him with anything he needed. After a week in the Philippines he acted as if he knew everything. I told him how I felt and why I was upset. The first thing that came out of his mouth was "I didn't know". Then it hit me that a lot of people don't know. With what I learned during this lesson I knew I didn't want to take the knowledge I have for granted. I want to take what I know and make a difference whether it be big or small.

One thing about the lesson I found to be very influential is the statement that JR had made. Towards the end of the discussion he had asked an open ended question, "If the Philippines is so rich in resources, then why are the people poor?". I believe this is a very good point because it caused me to re-think what I knew about life in the Philippines. And it also pushed me to ask myself what more can I do and what will I do with that knowledge. I truly believe knowledge is power because it has the ability to make changes.

This week's journal isn't that creative, but my writing was actually inspired by the song that is on repeat on my playlist right now. "Sky is the Limit" - Notorious B.I.G ft 112. I honestly believe that even in the worst situations you can overcome the struggle. One must never give up and try their hardest; just as the lyrics state, "you can only move if your heart is in it".

The One and Only,
Kristina Nagales

so... thats why,

HI GUYS! =]

This was probably my 3rd time going through the land is life ED and every time I go through it I always get something different out of it. I always thought that being a third generation Filipino-American made it super hard for me to connect myself back to the Philippines, because most if not all of my closely related family is in the states, and I have never seen anything beyond the borders of California (barely any of Nevada). In some aspects it actually is a little harder for me to make those connections to back home, but not as hard as I was making it seem. This workshop helped a lot with that whole process of thinking about the reasons why people leave the Philippines. Both my Grandfathers were merchant marine chefs who came to America around the Manong era. So I guess you can say my family has been displaced for a super long time. But like everyone else they left the Philppines to persue the "American dream" and also to help their families back home. So thats how I ended up being here. Its always interesting to wonder what your life would be like if your parent/grandparents didn't make the choices that they did. How would I be living my life in the Philippines? Sometimes its scary to wonder too. All I can say is that I am thankful for everything in my life even more so than I used to be. I know I have so many luxuries that people back home have never even had a taste of.

With all that said, my general thoughts about how the workshop went are good. Whenever we do this ED though, i always wish we could go a little further into detail about the three basic problems because i always feel like we are rushed through them in order to finish on time. Maybe some handouts might help? =D But other than that, i enjoyed it!

so on the creative tip-
I decided that because I liked drawing and doing the first tag so much, that each reflection blog I'm going to make a new tag/drawing. This weeks tag is "Land is Life" and I drew some things I though related to the words. Water, plowed land, rice terraces,a coconut tree, and those thing on the right side of the flower are supposed to be sugar cane stocks. (YEAH I"M NOT THAT GREAT OF AN ARTIST HEHE. oh! and I wanted to explain the flower- I drew a sampaguita flower because it thought it represented the natural beauty of the Philippines well.

hope you likes.

-MOO
Melissa Anne Fiel

Two Birds With One Stone

Blog 1.

Mga Kasama,

I apologize for this late blog, and I promise to never miss it again. I have been really busy for the past month to a point where I sometimes forget to breathe. You know how that feels? When you're just so exhausted, so busy, so stressed out that you inhale and forget to exhale? Yeah. That's how I am with 19 units and a job wherein 3-4 year olds would throw blocks at me if I don't give them any attention.

But it came to me on our first day of J.U.F.R.A.N. that maybe I'm tired not because of my schedule, but because of such a lack of inspiration.

Being in BUS 113 for the first time with my new kasamas made me feel good. Just the ice breaker got my energy up. I really think my fellow Jufranians and I are gonna have good energy all throughout the semester, and I definitely look forward to kicking it with them.

As far as suggestions go, I agree with Pete--we need more snacks! Not like it's a requirement, but I found that food is a good way to get everyone comfortable with each other. The fact that we can share a small box of malt balls was proof enough that being kasamas with these folks will be no problem. See? We can make the best out of small things.That's step #1 to knitting a close internship.

I'm excited to get to know you all!

In ode to my excitement is this picture that I took about 2 July 4ths ago.


Star Spangles by ~FayeYAHEY on deviantART
A spitting image of my energy with my kasamas!

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Blog 2.

Mga Kababayan,

After further reflecting upon the Land is Life ED and our Human Web, I started reminiscing:

I am an immigrant, as I have told many of you already, and last Friday made me feel content. There is hope after all.

The first 4 years of my life here was probably the worst 4 years of my life.

I was forced to leave my Mama (my grandma) and Papa (my gramps)-- the two people who took care of me since birth.

I was forced to leave my best friend who was my "kumare" since our Gerber days.

I was forced to leave my aunties, uncles, cousins, yayas, ninongs, ninangs--every loved one who loved me since birth.

I was forced to leave in exchange of displacement, and become one of those Filipinos who fled the country and came back in a form of a Western Union transaction or a 20x20 Balikbayan box. I didn't want to be like that, but I had to.

There was never a day that I stopped asking my parents why we had to move here when we were living a decent, happy life in the Philippines. Yeah, it was tough at times, and the kurakot-of-a government was a pain in the ass--but it was tolerable.

"It's for you, anak. There are more opportunities here," my dad would tell me.

"But there are opportunities there, too!" I would snap back.

And my dad would just smile, and laugh that annoying you-have-no-idea-what-you're-talking-about laugh.

"There are, but you'd have to work ten times as much to find them," he said.

He had a point, and I hated it.

Why was it like that? Why can't I live a happy life in the Philippines and be separated from the people I love? Why do I have to experience being displaced, and be put in a country where you felt small because you were an immigrant?

Was it necessary for my dad, a geophysicist-turned-engineer, to work as a custodian for Food 4 Less before he got a job as a data analyst?

Was it necessary for my mom, a UP Literate professor, to work as a teacher assistant in a condescending Catholic private school?

Was it necessary for my Kuya to give up his passion for music in exchange of a petty medical degree that'll "make ends meet?"

Was it necessary for me to be put in ESL classes for 3 years despite the fact that I can spell better than my English teacher?

Was it fair for my little brother to witness every single one in his family step on their shattered pride and dreams?

The only thing that made it feel worth it is when we would get ecstatic pleas of thank you's from our relatives back in the Philippines after we'd send them a fat Balikbayan box. Especially when I would get a letter from my 7-year-old nephew, thanking me for buying him a set of colored pencils--the reason he's top 1 in his class.

I don't mind suffering a little bit of comfort anymore, because I want to provide for my nieces and nephews enough so that they won't have to end up displaced like me.

I hope this rather long entry of mine will make my fellow Jufranians understand the reasons why they're here.

I'm pretty sure I went through the same things your parents have.

They came here for you. So you won't have to be the one suffering through the transition of leaving a country you've grown to love.

They came here for you, and thank goodness they did. Because if they hadn't, you wouldn't be in this internship right now, learning Land is Life.

You wouldn't have realized that being Filipino American puts you in a much better position to make change.

Seeing you all realizing the importance of connecting back to the homeland gave me hope, because finally! My nieces and nephews won't have to think that a Balikbayan is just a boxful of goods, but an actual person who has love for their country.

As for my creative piece, this is my nephew Zan. He's one of the reasons why I work hard to finish my degree, so I can come back to him and watch him grow up to be a smart young man! YAY!:


Singa by ~FayeYAHEY on deviantART

I can't wait til we all get together once more!

Kapayapaan,
Faye from the Bay

"Lili's Hands"

Hello,

J.U.F.R.A.N. ain’t just banana catsup! It’s an internship. Haha. So like… The very first time I’ve heard of J.U.F.R.A.N. was last year during the Phil-Amer War Event here at SF State. At the time I was just a High School Senior trying to figure out where to go to school. It was through my outlet as an organizer with Anakbayan East Bay is how I’ve networked with LFS. I’ve been to Events here & there. Mobes & Rallies here & there, but actually going here to have an education is where I’ve started to know folks here & there. I really liked how our first day together was productive and right away I felt a sense of “comfort” and the space was there for us to toss out ideas, experiences, etc. That means something since I really am not able to “put myself out there as much.” Overall, I’m pretty excited to build with folks and build connections. On a personal point, I also want to re-educate myself. I’m familiar to the Fil-Am struggle, but I’ve only learned from a select few perspectives. With J.U.F.R.A.N. I feel that it’s a re-fresher for me since I just feel brand new this semester. First Semester of College was hard as hell, I didn’t do that good & it isn’t “redemption” but “another chance.” Since I am a commuter student, I haven’t had the “full” college experience yet. I haven’t built enough network, friends that have made me feel like I belong somewhere. Meaning, I run into an internal conflict where Union City is home, but my friends here go to different schools and I basically only see my family. I’m here at State, but all I do is stay on my school grind & nothing more. I hope J.U.F.R.A.N. is that sense of balance I’ll find.

Since it is International Womyn’s Day Sunday…

Here’s a little spoken word piece that hits home to me…




One Love,
"Ian who be screamin’"

P.S. This is how I felt in High School… and why College transitioning was hella hard. (I'm talking about the quote below)
--
"While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die." 

-Leonardo da Vinci

Papa's Story.

About 5 years ago, I had one of those father and son talks about life in general, and I remember asking my pops, what he loved to play back in the Philippines. I somewhat had a feeling that he would say basketball or shit maybe chess, but instead I guessed wrong and he straight up said local pool. When he was young, he loved to play local pool (traditional makeshift billiards for the poor barangays in the Philippines), every single day and night. This was their hangout place, like most people in town. But as the years passed by, legit billiard shops were being built in the city, and this is where he continued to play pool. Never thought he would tell me this but, he used to be a mad hustler. A hustler who would badly beat up people in pool, taking their money and receiving free drinks. Gambling was too easy for him, and it was impossible to get him off the table, unless you paid him to get off. He played everywhere, especially in the heart of Manila, where most great pool players played. This is when he tells me he actually saw young Efren Reyes playing back in the Philippines, which in his eyes considered him to be weak. He told me he couldn't compete with him, and there was no chance this kid could play. Although he never played him, since Efren was basically a kid and at the same time was a complete no name, it just struck me that, Efren Reyes -- probably the best pool player in the world today, would probably get his ass kicked in pool by my dad. That's a shitload of bragging rights! He stopped playing pool after about 10 years because he had a position to be the mayor's personal officer, a right hand man in Pangasinan, Urdaneta. And about 3 years after, my mother petitions the whole family, and they were all bound for America. My pops then tells me that, just about a year in America, he developed a severe case of asthma, in which he couldn't do a lot of things because it would tire him quick. Sadly, he couldn't play pool anymore because of his complications.

About an hour has passed by he stops the story and leaves for work. At that moment, I had the "WTF" face on, because I just had a shitload of history just told to me. This was the first time he ever wanted to talk about his life. It was great. I loved him even more from those stories and I couldn't get enough of them.

I wanted to share this story with you guys, because first of all pool. When and were did that shit start in the Philippines. In the next week, I would like to research about Pool in the Philippines.

Passing away a few months ago, I felt sad at all the things my father would've done. The biggest thing was not getting a chance to see him play pool, and this is what is embedded in my head whenever I get a game of pool.

Even though pool is fun, I play because my fathered played, and I know that he would love any of his sons to continue his legacy. RIP POPS...

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Here is a clip of EFREN "BATA" REYES performing one of the greatest shots in billiard history!!! enjoy!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qq_2k-k0pd4

EXCITED. ECSTATIC. ENERGETIC.

WEE. Does anyone else think this Blog is really SUPER cool?

So, I've been in LFS for a semester now, and I have to say that I feel completely at home with all the colorful people that are in this organization. Honestly, I have not felt that close of a bond with people since high school days. I feel like I have learned so many new, interesting and seriously thought provoking ideas that are just impossible to ignore. I decided to join JUFRAN to help further my knowledge on these ideas. I think what I'm really expecting to get out of this internship is a better understanding of who I am, and where I come from. I also really am excited about gaining new friends and building stronger bonds with the friends I already have. AND looking at the syllabus I'm super excited for all of the exposure trips, especially the one we get to go out a look at Murals. Its funny how I was born in raised in San Francisco but i never knew that there was so much out there in the community for me to see and be apart of. I like looking at San Francisco from that different perspective now, and hopefully I can start helping change it for the better too.

I don't really think there was anything about our first workshop that I can critique because I enjoyed the activities and I felt like we were pretty productive... so um. YAY for that.


SOOO I drew a picture for the creative part, because I wanted to put something different up. =D I really admire those who can do graffiti and Tag art, that being said, I did a little tag of my own... but I am in now way an expert at tagging. haha. hope you like it. I spent a good hour and half on it. haha.

-MOO.
Melissa

"Find My Way"

I'm running late, I need to hurry before I'm out of time, one step forward puts me three steps behind.
New faces, new ideas, a journey through the semester that I know I will never forget; an internship that is bound to give me a reality check.
Questions from a hat as I pick and choose; Who is my hero? Who am I? Do I like to fart out loud? I already know I'm feeling this crowd.
We shared a piece of ourselves and learned so much more about one another. We talked about the itinerary and what's to come, I know this experience will be memorable, a story that is never done.

New faces, new ideas, a journey through the semester that I know I will never forget; an internship that is bound to give me a reality check.
No need to be afraid of what I say or do, we respect the R.O.P.E.S as the beats in the background play, like A Tribe Called Quest these folks will help me "Find My Way".
We shared a piece of ourselves and learned so much more about one another. We talked about the itinerary and what's to come, I know this experience will be memorable, a story that is never done.
We're on a Journey to Understand Forgotten Reasons to Act Now, with kasamas by our side we're trying to make Kannections, one set of prints in the sand going in many directions.

No need to be afraid of what I say or do, we respect the R.O.P.E.S as the beats in the background play, like A Tribe Called Quest these folks will help me "Find My Way".
We started building community and were introduced to Talumbuhay. Photos, music, trips, songs, workshops through out the day; by the end of the semester I know I will never look at things the same way.
We're on a Journey to Understand Forgotten Reasons to Act Now, with kasamas by our side we're trying to make Kannections, one set of prints in the sand going in many directions.
It's time to take action and make a change in our lives. Our brothers' and sisters' continue to struggle for liberation and National Democracy, can't you hear their cries?

We started building community and were introduced to Talumbuhay. Photos, music, trips, songs, workshops through out the day; by the end of the semester I know I will never look at things the same way.
Leave the cool kid image at the door, don't be afraid to let your hair down. If you feel like you're falling we'll catch you before you hit the ground.
It's time to take action and make a change in our lives. Our brothers' and sisters' continue to struggle for liberation and National Democracy, can't you hear their cries?
Although it's just the beginning there is so much that needs to be done. So much I need to say and do, this journey has just begun.

Leave the cool kid image at the door, don't be afraid to let your hair down. If you feel like you're falling we'll catch you before you hit the ground.
Questions from a hat as I pick and choose; Who is my hero? Who am I? Do I like to fart out loud? I already know I'm feeling this crowd.
Although it's just the beginning there is so much that needs to be done. So much I need to say and do, this journey has just begun.
I'm running late, I need to hurry before I'm out of time, one step forward puts me three steps behind.

-The one and only,
Kristina Nagales