TAPOS.

Mga Kasama!

Kamusta? Ayos lang ba? I hope so.
Hopefully you all have survived finals week, and are ready for a 3-monthish long summer.

I know I am, even though I have one more paper to write and 2 more to revise. Please don't remind me.

As a way to further procrastinate, I have decided to work on my missing blogs, which I've nearly forgotten to do.

So here they are:


Gender, Sexuality, and <3.>

The workshop was just what I needed. It's well-prepared, the materials and discussions were very fitting for our learning experience, and it was a topic that I've been thirsty for.

I don't really know too much about the LGBTQQI community's politics, but this workshop has definitely shed some light. I know there's much more to learn about, and this is just the beginning for my future learning of the community. Truth be told, I want to identify as a member of the community, but I've always been unsure and iffy to declare it.

Yes, I will say it here: I am bisexual. Ex-bicurous, ex-hetero. I am Bi. But tell me why I still find it hard to admit? I still find it hard to identify myself as bisexual, to be honest. What makes someone bisexual? I don't know. But all I know is that I'm attracted to girls, and boys...or anything in between. I just can't help it.

But with Katy Perry's hit songs, and Tila Tequilla's MTV show, being bisexual became something...I dunno... nonfitting for me. I guess I was embarassed to admit that I'm "bi" because people might think that I'm just saying that to be considered "sexy."Apparently, girls who kiss girls is like totally in with guys now. I didn't want my sexuality to be trendy... and I'm pretty sure my sexuality isn't a phase. I've been having crushes on girls since 5th grade, and I thought I'd get over it, too... but no. I was forcing myself to get over it all along.

It helped to have a workshop just entitled to exploring gender and sexuality, because it made me feel safe to ask questions. I usually hold back a lot when it comes to this topic...but, when workshops like this happen, it seems easier to breathe. It made me feel safe to belong for awhile. Plus, Brian gave us a lot of good resources on how to be more involved in the community, too.



May Day Rally.

I didn't march, but I was there at Civic Center when everyone arrived. It was cold, damp, and very rainy. Not the best day to march...
I wanted to march so badly, but I was exhausted out of my mind. I had just come from work that day, and was unable to contact anyone who participated in the march.

Moo and I just ended up waiting for everyone else to come in front of City Hall, but I really wanted to participate-- with all my heart.

Immigration is one of the most important issues that I care about. I was an immigrant once, as you all know already, and I still consider myself to be one at heart. When you leave home and move to somewhere else unfamiliar, you usually don't know what to expect... so you stay silent. You don't ask questions. You just do everything to get into the country. You protect everything you have with silence, so you won't get kicked out.

The May Day Rally is the only day an immigrant can feel backed up, protected, and loved by the community here. It's the only day where you can march in the streets shouting, and breaking your silence against the hostility that's brought upon you by those people who doesn't want you in "their" soil. It's the only day you can demand your rights to a nation where the Minutemen Project, the INS, and ICE are more favored than other institutions.
It's one of those days where you don't live in fear.

It still bothers me that I didn't go.
But next year... I'll be there.


MIXED Tape.

The Final Project has been decided on as the "mixed tape." I opted for a literary magazine, but in the end, I didn't really care. It's what everyone wanted, so we had fun with it.

At least I did.

It was hard to get everyone together at one place, being that it's Finals week and all. Even then, going to Jordan's house late on Thursday, singing the chorus multiple times, and writing a last-minute poem in Tagalog was a lot of time. Okay, I was frustrated a lot...but y'know? That made it more fun for me. Just hearing the play backs, and seeing it all come together slowly made it seem worth the frustration.

Just so you know, I was frustrated because at the last minute, people were still arguing between doing a mixed tape or just a literary magazine. I didn't care whichever one, but some people were stern about the latter. Compromising was really difficult, and it kind of got under my skin, because I just really wanted to get over it. As a self-criticism, I think I should've stepped up myself and just helped finalize the situation. I should've just taken one side instead of going one way or another. That probably would've helped the situation, but seeing that I wasn't in the first planning process, I didn't really know if I was at the right position to step up. I had missed the first final project planning process because of an important class assignment, so I wasn't able to actually sell my own ideas for the final project... but that's done and over with, and we got the mixed tape DONE. And hell... it was fun.

I just wish Kristina was there to lend her beautiful voice. Aww Kristina, maybe next time. I hope you feel better. :)

_______________

So.There you are. As we say in tagalog: TAPOS (finished).

I hope y'all have a good summer! Don't think twice about hitting me up to kick it either. I would mos def LOVE to kick it with any of my kasamas. So HOLLER. It was nice konnecting with you all.

PAALAM!
Faye

It's A Wrap

Family,

I wanted to try and put up my reflections before I crossed that stage Sunday morning!



First, a big ups and thanks to everybody this past semester for traveling with me on this journey. What a journey it was! It was a pleasure meeting and working with every one of you. I admit, balancing JUFRAN with all the other things you need to do during your final semester of your undergrad career, was a little challenging. However, I think we also managed to have some really great dialogue and other down-time fun with one another that made JUFRAN even better. I'm sure a couple week from now I will still be learning and growing from our experiences together. Thank you again.



Revolutionizing your mind, body and spirit is a life-long task. No person can do so in one semester, including myself. I give mad respect to anybody who chooses to challenge themselves to be critical and conscious in their daily lives. Everyday, I find nuances that challenge my values, but I embrace them, for they are part of what makes the struggle beautiful and worthwhile. The people you meet along this journey, are another part of what makes the journey meaningful.



I also hope we were able to convey that what we learn/ed in JUFRAN does not just apply to Filipin@s, but to the many billions of third world people globally. We must work within a globalized mind frame and take action locally. Throughout my four years at State, I have transformed into a completely different person. I have come to better understand the concept of "peace" in its relation to justice, opening my eyes to a completely new world. As a small town boy with big city dreams, I am indebted to LFS and JUFRAN for allowing me to grow and change into a more hopeful and well-rounded person rooted in my many communities.



With knowledge comes with responsibility, and I hope that you all take the next step and realize you are an agent of change (especially as educated people of color in the U.S.). I hope to continue to build strong and meaningful relationships with each of you throughout my LIFE, and can't wait to see what's in store for us.



Trust our struggle, keep your fists up high. Enjoy the rest of your time in college, and continue to build a critical community, one heart at a time. Our children will thank us for it.

Throughout my reflection are some photos from the past 4 years at State. It's been fun!

Respect,
Jr

Catching up...

I need to catch up...
I'm sorry that I have been behind on the journals', but this is my chance to make up on all of them.

On April 17 Lyle presented a video on the political killings in the Philippines. The workshop was very emotional for me and many other of the jufranians. I honestly wanted to cry throughout the entire video. I knew there were a large number of killings happening, but hearing all of the names was hard to endure. Although the video was sad, it was also motivating. I honestly want to do something to help or just to make a difference. I believe the key thing I can do is educate others on this important issue that is happening right now in the Philippines. The video was a great visual in helping teach the issue at hand. I heard a line in the movie that was very uplifting, “turning silence into music”. Through song they were able to break the silence and tell others what happened to the many people who disappeared. People who had their voices taken away were given a second chance to tell their stories. I think the only delta for the ED would be to have more interaction from everyone. I think it would have been very interesting if we were able to hold a discussion on the issue or maybe even just have everyone speak on how they were feeling. However, the ED was informative and very helpful in educating those who were unaware of what was happening.

On April 24 Brian had facilitated an ED on Gender, Sexuality, and Love. Unfortunately, I was not able to attend this workshop. When I asked other Jufranians about how it went each person gave the same response; it was a fun and informative workshop. Sadly, instead of enjoying the day with Jufran I was in the hospital because of a headache. I later found out my headache was due to my eyes, but everything worked itself out. I do not like missing Jufran days because I feel I miss out on a lot of important information, plus I also get to miss out on kickin it with the beautiful Jufranians.

On May 1 was the May Day Rally which I was unable to attend due to PCN practice and an injured ankle. Two nights before the May Day Rally I had rolled my ankle pretty bad at dance practice. It would have been very hard for me to make the journey all the way down to Dolores Park then back to campus by 5:00 P.M. for PCN practice. I heard a lot of good things about this event and wish I could have gone. I have not gone to a rally yet and believe it will be an amazing experience. Although it was raining, everyone's spirit and energy made the day memorable. >

On May 8 we were able to meet in class and work on the final project. I was really happy to know we were still going to use the mixtape idea. I love how we were able to incorporate the literary art by putting it in the CD case. I believe this final project is going to be great because everyone had a part in it. It was also great when we were able to get the Chorus down. After KC, Paul, Ben, and I left internship we were singing the chorus at PCN practice over and over. We all agreed that the song was hella tight. I honestly think a music video would also be a great idea, but I think that can be a summer project if any of the Jufranians want to do it. It can be a great way to promote Jufran for next spring. Helping facilitate final project ideas made me realize that maybe I would like to be one of the coordinators for Jufran next spring. I honestly wouldn't mind helping the next set of folks on their journey called Jufran because it is an amazing experience.

On May 15 the Jufranians met in class and finished the final project. I wanted to be there so bad, but I couldn't because I had the flu...not swine flu. I would have loved to be there and be able to record the chorus and hear the tight verses written by Ben and Jordan. I know I texted everyone and let them know about my situation, but I feel horrible. I really wish I could have been there to help and enjoy each other's company. It makes me really sad that the next time I'm going to see everyone is the last time we will actually meet all together. I really do hope and wish that we can keep in touch with one another and still be able to go out and eat like we always do. Each and every person in Jufran has made an impact on me and my life. I love everyone with all my heart and will never forget you guys. I really do wish I could have done more, but I didn't want to get you guys sick. I know the final project is amazing and I can't wait to hear the track.

Loving Jufran Always,
Kristina Nagales

Gender and Sexuality to Diwang Pinay

Let me be honest with ya'll and tell you a story about this little boy.

And so the story begins:

This little brown boy was raised by 2nd generation Filipinos who were raised by stron Pinoys and Pinays that worked in the fields and fought in world wars. This little boy was shaped and molded by his parents to be the best he can be. They told him to go to college, get straight A's and never give up. But this little boy also learned social lessons from them as well. DON'T BE GAY. PLAY SPORTS. BE MASCULINE. DONT PLAY WITH DOLLS. BE STRONG. They said. At parties they joked about gay people and ran their mouths about gay jokes an laughed at it. In return he was built with this mindset to never be gay. Gay was negative and bad. Therefore in highschool he hated on gay people, joined various sports, and always held a prejudice toward them.

Not only did he learn these lessons about gender roles from his parents but the media taught him about how to treat women. WOMANIZE THEM. CALL THAT HOE A BITCH. AND CALL THAT BITCH A SLUT. GET AS MANY AS YOU CAN. TAP THAT ASS. everyday as he bumped his stereo to the radio and slapped beats and popped up his television set, he grew up with that mindset that women were inferior. He cheated on his girlfriend and didn't give a fuck about a dumb bitch. 

BUT THIS BOY CHANGED.

HE WENT TO SF STATE.

HE LEARNED ABOUT THE LGBTQQI STRUGGLE

HE LEARNED ABOUT RESPECTING WOMEN

HE CRIED BECAUSE OF WHAT HE HAS DONE IN HIS PAST

HE LET THOSE SOCIAL CONSTRUCTIONS GO

HE STARTED RAPPING ABOUT REAL ISSUES

HE WENT ON TO TRY TO LEARN MORE

HE JOINED PACE

HE JOINED LFS

HE GREW UP

HE MATURED

And he is damn happy that he did.

Things like Diwang Pinay and workshops like Brian's hold great significance for the community. It sparks change in thoughts and gives people a sense of growth. That's what it gave me. The ability to respect, and the ability to grow. I thank you all in LFS and PACE for that. 

What i am hopeful for is that i will continue this growth and forget about my past self, because i have truly changed

My creative thing for this week: Nas' I can helps us see that we can overcome what they tell us and not subdue to social constructions. This is also one of my favorite songs of all time!!!

- Ben Paz

Lyle's Video

WOW!!!

That was my initial reaction to the video we watched about the extrajudicial killings in the Philippines. This is how powerful America is. First they conquered and pillaged our homes, then they set us free. After they set us free they try to maintain order by telling our people to kill our own people in order for them to keep the people in power, well, in power. I coudn't believe that the CIA was in on this shit and the Philippine government is in it as well. Activism is almost impossible in the Philippines, because once you speak against a system you got a target on your back. Like Ian said, its amazing that our people kill our own people as well. Where is the shared struggle? instead of beating the system we abide by it and ruin our own system. These killings need to stop, but i feel so helpless. What can i do? I feel so helpless. im just a little brown brotha across the pacific, while our people die in the Philippines. Education can only go so far. I just hope my voice is loud enough. 

i am really happy lyle showed the video, not only did it educate me about the issue, but it also made me feel more connected to our kasamas back home. We need to fight, not just for them, but for our entire country. 

What i am hopeful for from this week is that my knowledge and voice and education can reach the masses. 

My creative piece for this blog: this song was playin while i wrote this blog, so since it is a hot video, i want to share it with ya'll :

-ben paz

Globalism/Capitalism

The workshop we did on globalism and capitalism really gave me a broad sense of how the institutions of America affect that of The Philippines. We have seen throughout this semester very detailed and historical facts, but putting it into a broad persepctive is a nice thing to do. it allowed me to see the great effects of American values. Seeing those pictures of America as an octopus was quite interesting. The institution comes from a central part of the body and grabs hold of other countries. That is alot like what globalism and capitalism does. This relates to the Filipino struggle because our country is being ravaged by this system. Since the Philippines was conquered by America, thegovernment assumed it should take up its systems as well. But as we have seen, its people are not ready for it. i think that the systems such as democracy and capitalism in the Philippines are not right for its people. 

When i went to the P.I. in 04 i was amazed to see tall skyscrapers and really advanced malls and movie theaters, but the people around it were living in run down housing. They could not afford to buy the things in those malls or shops because they were poor. I didnt notice it back then, but i realize now that the American values are not right for the Philippines. But globalism has a way of corrupting minds and getting them to think that this is the right thing to do. Througout this workshop i have seen that we truly are in the belly of the beast that takes advantage of third world countries and leaves their peoples to suffer. It is hard, but there is hope. If we EDUCATE, like the part i flowed about on our "Power" rap that we did in class, this world truly can envision a better place, or at least can learn how to combat this globalized world. 

As we go forward i am hopeful that i can apply this knowledge and educate others about the harrowing effects of globalism and capitalism that affect us directly and indirectly.

Here is a haiku for my creative piece this week that i wrote and turned in for my Asian American Literature class that spoke of globalization.

"Brown soil of my Home

Lay under Colorless graves

GLOBALIZATION"

- BEN PAZ

"May 1st in the elements, London bridge falling down, and Pinays that rised."

 Hello,

 

                I’m left with a bittersweet feeling that our term as JUFRANians is coming to a near end.  We’re forreal doing the mixtape huh to that instrumental below? Fresh, I can’t wait until its completion. 

May 1^st  in the elements, London bridge falling down, and Pinays that rised.  The weekend was eventful and was something I’ve been truly needing amidst the chaotic times I’m going through with my family, school, & life.  I would first of all like to say that If I could of, I would have been in May 1 in San Francisco, but I felt that the East Bay is closer to home, I went to the march in Oakland instead.  “What do we say to the government?, JUSTICE FOR IMMIGRANTS.”This chant roared from Fruitvale Bart to Oakland City Hall. I’ve never been to a May 1^st March before, and I gotta say that it was empowering to the core.  Things at home were slowly falling into place, & I just couldn’t shake the thought of my family, They are immigrants. I was in solidarity for them & other immigrants.  It was my first time being outside my house in a while. Even though it rained, as always, being around my Kasamas didn’t make it hard.  40 blocks, 3 hrs, in the rain. Throughout the day, I accumulated 10 extra pounds due to my wet clothes, but it was a weight I didn’t mind carrying.  Below is a video of May-Day in Oakland with Anakbayan East Bay, the API Contingent, & Oakland Sin Fronteras.

Youth Perspective of May Day from Betty Bastidas on Vimeo.

                Oh… I couldn’t make it Mel’s Baby shower, Sorry Mel! I had to be with family.  Manny Pacquiao.  His fights are entertaining & he has a load of influence on the Philippines.  “Pacman” brings a lot of Filipino Families together and not to mention the country to a ceasefire.  Crazy huh? Ceasefire meaning all fighting stops on both sides. Revolutionary & Reactionary. That’s some influence that can be easily manipulated.  The day was just Uncle’s drinking beer, eating sisig, all for just a less than 15 minute fight. I guess everyone just needs to kick back and take a break whether, you’re for the people or not. 

                “Still we rise…” was the theme for this year’s Diwang Pinay and they rose above all.  I volunteered and brought a friend, but once I started to help out, I felt that the Womyn organizing the event have totally flipped the normative of male dominance and their presence made me feel that the male dominated world was no longer here and I had no problem with it since all of us were working together in unison. Each of them were…

 

“Third world sister[s], never sacrificing substance for style”

 

A fresh set all day. From the words spoken, instruments played, voices sung, lines acted, bodies in movement, & not to mention the art created on the spot.  That weekend was something I’ve really needed.  I’ve been in constant reflection mode as I close the school year.  I’ll wish everybody luck on Finals. I’ve really taken over this blog huh? I hope to read everybody’s responses soon…

 

One Love,

“Ian who be screamin’”