Gender and Sexuality to Diwang Pinay

Let me be honest with ya'll and tell you a story about this little boy.

And so the story begins:

This little brown boy was raised by 2nd generation Filipinos who were raised by stron Pinoys and Pinays that worked in the fields and fought in world wars. This little boy was shaped and molded by his parents to be the best he can be. They told him to go to college, get straight A's and never give up. But this little boy also learned social lessons from them as well. DON'T BE GAY. PLAY SPORTS. BE MASCULINE. DONT PLAY WITH DOLLS. BE STRONG. They said. At parties they joked about gay people and ran their mouths about gay jokes an laughed at it. In return he was built with this mindset to never be gay. Gay was negative and bad. Therefore in highschool he hated on gay people, joined various sports, and always held a prejudice toward them.

Not only did he learn these lessons about gender roles from his parents but the media taught him about how to treat women. WOMANIZE THEM. CALL THAT HOE A BITCH. AND CALL THAT BITCH A SLUT. GET AS MANY AS YOU CAN. TAP THAT ASS. everyday as he bumped his stereo to the radio and slapped beats and popped up his television set, he grew up with that mindset that women were inferior. He cheated on his girlfriend and didn't give a fuck about a dumb bitch. 

BUT THIS BOY CHANGED.

HE WENT TO SF STATE.

HE LEARNED ABOUT THE LGBTQQI STRUGGLE

HE LEARNED ABOUT RESPECTING WOMEN

HE CRIED BECAUSE OF WHAT HE HAS DONE IN HIS PAST

HE LET THOSE SOCIAL CONSTRUCTIONS GO

HE STARTED RAPPING ABOUT REAL ISSUES

HE WENT ON TO TRY TO LEARN MORE

HE JOINED PACE

HE JOINED LFS

HE GREW UP

HE MATURED

And he is damn happy that he did.

Things like Diwang Pinay and workshops like Brian's hold great significance for the community. It sparks change in thoughts and gives people a sense of growth. That's what it gave me. The ability to respect, and the ability to grow. I thank you all in LFS and PACE for that. 

What i am hopeful for is that i will continue this growth and forget about my past self, because i have truly changed

My creative thing for this week: Nas' I can helps us see that we can overcome what they tell us and not subdue to social constructions. This is also one of my favorite songs of all time!!!

- Ben Paz

Lyle's Video

WOW!!!

That was my initial reaction to the video we watched about the extrajudicial killings in the Philippines. This is how powerful America is. First they conquered and pillaged our homes, then they set us free. After they set us free they try to maintain order by telling our people to kill our own people in order for them to keep the people in power, well, in power. I coudn't believe that the CIA was in on this shit and the Philippine government is in it as well. Activism is almost impossible in the Philippines, because once you speak against a system you got a target on your back. Like Ian said, its amazing that our people kill our own people as well. Where is the shared struggle? instead of beating the system we abide by it and ruin our own system. These killings need to stop, but i feel so helpless. What can i do? I feel so helpless. im just a little brown brotha across the pacific, while our people die in the Philippines. Education can only go so far. I just hope my voice is loud enough. 

i am really happy lyle showed the video, not only did it educate me about the issue, but it also made me feel more connected to our kasamas back home. We need to fight, not just for them, but for our entire country. 

What i am hopeful for from this week is that my knowledge and voice and education can reach the masses. 

My creative piece for this blog: this song was playin while i wrote this blog, so since it is a hot video, i want to share it with ya'll :

-ben paz

Globalism/Capitalism

The workshop we did on globalism and capitalism really gave me a broad sense of how the institutions of America affect that of The Philippines. We have seen throughout this semester very detailed and historical facts, but putting it into a broad persepctive is a nice thing to do. it allowed me to see the great effects of American values. Seeing those pictures of America as an octopus was quite interesting. The institution comes from a central part of the body and grabs hold of other countries. That is alot like what globalism and capitalism does. This relates to the Filipino struggle because our country is being ravaged by this system. Since the Philippines was conquered by America, thegovernment assumed it should take up its systems as well. But as we have seen, its people are not ready for it. i think that the systems such as democracy and capitalism in the Philippines are not right for its people. 

When i went to the P.I. in 04 i was amazed to see tall skyscrapers and really advanced malls and movie theaters, but the people around it were living in run down housing. They could not afford to buy the things in those malls or shops because they were poor. I didnt notice it back then, but i realize now that the American values are not right for the Philippines. But globalism has a way of corrupting minds and getting them to think that this is the right thing to do. Througout this workshop i have seen that we truly are in the belly of the beast that takes advantage of third world countries and leaves their peoples to suffer. It is hard, but there is hope. If we EDUCATE, like the part i flowed about on our "Power" rap that we did in class, this world truly can envision a better place, or at least can learn how to combat this globalized world. 

As we go forward i am hopeful that i can apply this knowledge and educate others about the harrowing effects of globalism and capitalism that affect us directly and indirectly.

Here is a haiku for my creative piece this week that i wrote and turned in for my Asian American Literature class that spoke of globalization.

"Brown soil of my Home

Lay under Colorless graves

GLOBALIZATION"

- BEN PAZ

"May 1st in the elements, London bridge falling down, and Pinays that rised."

 Hello,

 

                I’m left with a bittersweet feeling that our term as JUFRANians is coming to a near end.  We’re forreal doing the mixtape huh to that instrumental below? Fresh, I can’t wait until its completion. 

May 1^st  in the elements, London bridge falling down, and Pinays that rised.  The weekend was eventful and was something I’ve been truly needing amidst the chaotic times I’m going through with my family, school, & life.  I would first of all like to say that If I could of, I would have been in May 1 in San Francisco, but I felt that the East Bay is closer to home, I went to the march in Oakland instead.  “What do we say to the government?, JUSTICE FOR IMMIGRANTS.”This chant roared from Fruitvale Bart to Oakland City Hall. I’ve never been to a May 1^st March before, and I gotta say that it was empowering to the core.  Things at home were slowly falling into place, & I just couldn’t shake the thought of my family, They are immigrants. I was in solidarity for them & other immigrants.  It was my first time being outside my house in a while. Even though it rained, as always, being around my Kasamas didn’t make it hard.  40 blocks, 3 hrs, in the rain. Throughout the day, I accumulated 10 extra pounds due to my wet clothes, but it was a weight I didn’t mind carrying.  Below is a video of May-Day in Oakland with Anakbayan East Bay, the API Contingent, & Oakland Sin Fronteras.

Youth Perspective of May Day from Betty Bastidas on Vimeo.

                Oh… I couldn’t make it Mel’s Baby shower, Sorry Mel! I had to be with family.  Manny Pacquiao.  His fights are entertaining & he has a load of influence on the Philippines.  “Pacman” brings a lot of Filipino Families together and not to mention the country to a ceasefire.  Crazy huh? Ceasefire meaning all fighting stops on both sides. Revolutionary & Reactionary. That’s some influence that can be easily manipulated.  The day was just Uncle’s drinking beer, eating sisig, all for just a less than 15 minute fight. I guess everyone just needs to kick back and take a break whether, you’re for the people or not. 

                “Still we rise…” was the theme for this year’s Diwang Pinay and they rose above all.  I volunteered and brought a friend, but once I started to help out, I felt that the Womyn organizing the event have totally flipped the normative of male dominance and their presence made me feel that the male dominated world was no longer here and I had no problem with it since all of us were working together in unison. Each of them were…

 

“Third world sister[s], never sacrificing substance for style”

 

A fresh set all day. From the words spoken, instruments played, voices sung, lines acted, bodies in movement, & not to mention the art created on the spot.  That weekend was something I’ve really needed.  I’ve been in constant reflection mode as I close the school year.  I’ll wish everybody luck on Finals. I’ve really taken over this blog huh? I hope to read everybody’s responses soon…

 

One Love,

“Ian who be screamin’”

"We, the survivors"

Hello,

 

                I guess this makes 4 JUFRAN blogs in a row since I’ve been given this time to just think since my grandma is very heavy on my mind. It’s just the fact that I’ve lived in my house with my grandma for ALL my life & it’s as if my grandparents are a “second set” of parents to me. These blogs and reflections and being around community folk is what’s making me strong through these overall tough times. I’ll also share that it’s been tears and an influx of emotions every day… The week was my first incomplete school week of the semester. To bring things to a lighter note, I show my cultural piece first before my reflection.

 

we, the survivors (excerpt) by lolan buhain sevilla

we survivors
the spirit warriors
somehow chosen ones
the dancing, crying, writing ones
chanting and singing
the life
into our rage

we, a family
born
out of circumstance
the knowing
knowing
of same
new scar skin
slowly connecting
our bruised bodies
and soaring spirits

we, the fighting
one-by-one
two-by-two
three-by-three
breaking chains
and cycles
rebirthing our souls
like phoenix wings

we, the survivors
somehow chosen
healing the world
and each other
loving our pain
the same
we do
our power

we, the survivors
surviving

surviving
survived.

 

The written piece was done by Lolan Sevilla, a Kasama who used to organize in Anakbayan East Bay and is now residing in Ney York and I believe she’s getting her feet wet into NYCHRP (New York Committee for Human Rights in the Philippines). Here’s a glimpse of her bio: “Lolan Buhain Sevilla is a butch Pinay cultural worker who believes art can inspire the masses to action. You can currently find her organizing with AnakBayan Eastbay, a mass-based youth and student organization supporting the people's movement toward National Democracy in the Philippines. She is the author of Translating New Brown, a collection of short stories and poetry, which won the Philippine American Writers & Artists (PAWA) 2005 Calatagan Award. Lolan is also co-founder of Kreatibo, a queer Pinay artist collective, which won the 2005 Lesbian Theatre Award from Curve Magazine.” http://www.lolansevilla.com/

 

                I would like to start and be open to the fact that during the workshop, It wasn’t easy trying to be open to the subject since I myself am a heterosexual male and I’m still learning to watch my tendencies and overall just trying to check myself at moments.  I think that one thing that could have been helpful was go over the community agreements at the beginning? Deconstructing and Rebuilding: Gender, Sexuality, and Love , was the dynamic of the day. I think as a male, society has constructed me and others into fulfilling the gender roles that we live in today. Whether it is the notion that us men, are supposed to be proud, strong, emotionless, & overall embrace our masculinity. Growing up to be a “MAN” is no different than the conditioning & brainwashing of the Filipino people & other people of color alike. In my family, Womyn are the majority, but when you are a male, like me, like many boys, we are told not to cry, because it shows that you’re “weak.” I’ll also like to admit that I have used derogatory terms such as “hella gay,” “no homo,” & “fag.” It’s probably because I surrounded myself with “friends” that overly use the terms without any thought and just that society makes it acceptable. The kinds of actions and how we act reflect on who we ourselves associate with.  A person, who is surrounded by these words, can’t help but join into society’s pressures. Like I said, I’m still trying to improve on checking my tendencies as a heterosexual male & I hope y’all have the patience.

                I’d also like to admit that I may be knowledgeable in many areas & I’ve come to a generalization that the LGBTQ community is something that I haven’t paid much attention to. Maybe for the fact that I’ve really haven’t gotten a chance to dive into its politics/culture and see how it affects me. One thing I’d really like to learn is how to be an “Ally.” As a member of the community, I feel that sometimes when an issue doesn’t feel like it affects me, then I feel like I don’t have that much say since I haven’t educated myself enough into the issue. Prop 8, I can re-call in my memory that for a couple of people, their stances were merely “hype” & “just b/c everyone was for it” type of deal since voting was also the new thing for my generation.  The term “Downe” is totally new for me. Being exposed to a whole complete culture is something fresh and throughout the day I was filled with “woahs”.

                To be a man, the patriarchal society we live in today just doesn’t reflect our history & roots. Spanish colonization has really destroyed the evidence of the kind of society the Philippines used to be.  Womyn used to be at the top and the Matriarchal society that once existed during Pre-Colonization is something I kind of want to see into action and makes me wonder how that was. Were males under oppression? If so, at what level? As I learn more and “find myself” so they say during this point in my life, I’m growing to accept my role in the Movement, as a Filipino-American living in the U.S., & as a Man.  When I say as a Man, I probably may be seen as a “pussy” or “cunt” for neglecting and not acting like the typical male. Meaning that I have to drop the senseless pride I have inside me, in order for a lot of things to work. Pride, it really is the male’s demise. We always hide behind it to fill the void that our insecurities give us.  I’m a living example of being a person whose senseless pride comes out when there’s a complete “void” in my life.  As I make these kinds of mistakes, I learn that the word “proud” has its more positive context. To be proud that I am a Filipino-American that takes pride in his history, his country, his family, his school, his community (even if times I want to give up on them.) Constantly humbling oneself where he/she came from in order to “be the change that he wants to see in the world.” Taking the time to learn and understand is a step to attack the structure of Heterosexism & Sexism.

 

DAMN, EVERYTHING is systematic.

What we gon’ do about it though?

I think... We should…

 

Analyze, Organize, & Mobilize.

 

One Love,

“Ian who be screamin’”

"Turning silence into song"

Hello,

 

            As much the ND (National Democratic) Movement here in the United States is moving in support of the movement back home in the motherland, the cause is rooted deeper back home. The different sectors are exploited. Women. Youth/Students. Workers. Peasants.  When we all watched the video from the CPA (Cordilleras People’s Alliance) all I can ever really think of was the STK (Stop The Killings) Campaign waged by BAYAN USA. I wear two pins on my backpack to not only show them off as an accessory, but a way to show people what I’m about. I get the occasional “what are those pins for?” & I can tell them with full confidence what they’re for, where I got them, & why I have them on.  As I mentioned the enforced disappearances and extra-judicial killings have been escalated ever since Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo took office in the RP (Republic of the Philippines.) We may feel anger as our first impulsive emotion when we see videos that are really good at agitating an issue, but as the quote in the video says

 

“Turning silence into song,”

 

 which I believe is to transform our sorrow, anger, anything negative we feel into something that can be a positive motivating force.  I think this is where “Patience, Understanding, Loyalty” comes in. Sound familiar? It’s a lyric from “Loyalty” by the Blue Scholars.  To maintain “Loyalty” to the people, we gotta have the “Patience” to try and understand who the real enemy is. To have that “Understanding” that a death squad in Mindanao or in the Cordi’s were sent out to kill or kidnap by someone. We just gotta keep on asking the questions, who sent them?, who trained these Filipinos to kill Filipinos? Obviously the GMA puppet administration backed by the U.S. The Balikatan Exercises in the Philippines allow the United States to send their own troops and have joint exercises which totally violates the constitution where foreign troops aren’t allowed in Philippine soil. The root cause is again, U.S. Imperialism. Our tax dollars fund these death squads.  The money we send back home to our families also help fund these death squads. 

            The thing that trips me the most, is that it’s Filipinos killing Filipinos. That’s some insane brainwashing, conditioning done to our own people.  I shared that my biological Father was a AFP Marine stationed in Mindanao around the 80’s. I talk to my mom and all she can ever tell me that he was the nicest man in the world. That position in the military is a job. It gets something paid. The system has pitted Filipino versus Filipino. It really is some genius work the people in power have done. They’re working so hard to keep us down.  Videos like the one we watched are just really good refreshers why it’s important to do what we do.  To see such a powerful message in that video gave me goosebumps… I’d also like to admit that whenever I witness the movement through a video, a “makibaka!” that thunders the streets, I naturally get goose bumps. I have no idea why, but like I said, it was a good refresher for me and a good agitation tool for others.

 

Here’s a couple of videos that a fellow Kasama I look up to named Ivan made…

 

 

 

One Love,

“Ian who be screamin’”

"Enjoy Capitalism"

 

“On the last day in November, swellin' in ranks
Went to chant down the mighty IMF and World Bank
A gathering of people in peaceful assembly”

-“50k Deep”, Blue Scholars,  Bayani, 2007

Hello,

 

            The first thing that comes to my mind whenever the topic of Imperialism & Globalization is International Monetary Fund, World Bank, & the World Trade Organization. A bunch of words and acronyms that I don’t fully understand yet, but I can share what I do know… Reflecting on how the workshop went, It was pretty information heavy, but it was good info.  I caught myself in moment where it was a lot to take in a short amount of time, something that I’ve been learning being an organizer with the community is that everything isn’t going to be fun. That also goes with life.

Well anyways, The IMF-WB-WTO are some powerful forces that are in control of the wealth the world has to share.  It’s representation is dominated by western, first world countries, and I believe(correct me if I’m wrong…) the U.S. has the most representation and that eventually means decision making, & overall, POWER. When I hear globalization, I think of it as Imperialism’s most current modern day form.  More than a colonial rule, but a total hegemonic entity in which the people are hurt internally through their culture and media. Going back to the IMF-WB-WTO, this group of individuals are the lenders of money to the Third World. I’ll use myself as an example and represent the Third World. I need money for college in order that someday I can get a job and feed my family. The Third World needs money in order to have an opportunity to be industrialized and eventually rise up and become a “developing” Second World Nation.  Me and the Third World need money to get an education and get industrialized.  I turn to my financial aid for some help, I’m also lucky enough that I am able to qualify for money. A Third World Nation in Asia, Africa, or Latin America turns to the IMF-WB-WTO.  I get money from financial aid; the Third World gets money from the IMF-WB-WTO.  One problem, how am I gonna pay for my financial aid when it may take me an average of 5 years to graduate, depending if I have to commute, move out to the city, get a job, and help my family? One problem, how is the Third World gonna pay for the loans from the IMF-WB-WTO when the programs that are supposed to structurally benefit the people are only benefiting the ruling class?

            Me & the Third World are stuck in a system that doesn’t benefit us at all. I know for a fact that what I want to do in life is not what society has bred everyone to be. A worker in their assembly line to uphold their power. Being Filipino, my parents want me to be an engineer since that mentality has been conditioned in their minds since Spanish & American Colonization. To be real, it’s some good money, being an engineer, but does it equal my happiness? What is the definition of happy? The trying to be an engineer or nurse is probably  very common in the Filipino Community. Does working the system really benefit us to the fullest?  I say that there is always someone at the top exploiting the masses financially, physically, mentally, & emotionally. We may receive the “benefits” of the system through material gains (cars,houses,etc.) new status in society (feeling apart of the middle class), & basically more privileges (having time). Imperialism & Globalization are just the result of Capitalism. “The Beast.” We really are the bullet in the belly of the beast. So it gives me hope that if we do spread the knowledge, help the movement flourish, we can really damage the system, capitalism, “the beast” from within. Until then…

“Enjoy Capitalism”

One Love,

“Ian who be screamin’”