TAPOS.

Mga Kasama!

Kamusta? Ayos lang ba? I hope so.
Hopefully you all have survived finals week, and are ready for a 3-monthish long summer.

I know I am, even though I have one more paper to write and 2 more to revise. Please don't remind me.

As a way to further procrastinate, I have decided to work on my missing blogs, which I've nearly forgotten to do.

So here they are:


Gender, Sexuality, and <3.>

The workshop was just what I needed. It's well-prepared, the materials and discussions were very fitting for our learning experience, and it was a topic that I've been thirsty for.

I don't really know too much about the LGBTQQI community's politics, but this workshop has definitely shed some light. I know there's much more to learn about, and this is just the beginning for my future learning of the community. Truth be told, I want to identify as a member of the community, but I've always been unsure and iffy to declare it.

Yes, I will say it here: I am bisexual. Ex-bicurous, ex-hetero. I am Bi. But tell me why I still find it hard to admit? I still find it hard to identify myself as bisexual, to be honest. What makes someone bisexual? I don't know. But all I know is that I'm attracted to girls, and boys...or anything in between. I just can't help it.

But with Katy Perry's hit songs, and Tila Tequilla's MTV show, being bisexual became something...I dunno... nonfitting for me. I guess I was embarassed to admit that I'm "bi" because people might think that I'm just saying that to be considered "sexy."Apparently, girls who kiss girls is like totally in with guys now. I didn't want my sexuality to be trendy... and I'm pretty sure my sexuality isn't a phase. I've been having crushes on girls since 5th grade, and I thought I'd get over it, too... but no. I was forcing myself to get over it all along.

It helped to have a workshop just entitled to exploring gender and sexuality, because it made me feel safe to ask questions. I usually hold back a lot when it comes to this topic...but, when workshops like this happen, it seems easier to breathe. It made me feel safe to belong for awhile. Plus, Brian gave us a lot of good resources on how to be more involved in the community, too.



May Day Rally.

I didn't march, but I was there at Civic Center when everyone arrived. It was cold, damp, and very rainy. Not the best day to march...
I wanted to march so badly, but I was exhausted out of my mind. I had just come from work that day, and was unable to contact anyone who participated in the march.

Moo and I just ended up waiting for everyone else to come in front of City Hall, but I really wanted to participate-- with all my heart.

Immigration is one of the most important issues that I care about. I was an immigrant once, as you all know already, and I still consider myself to be one at heart. When you leave home and move to somewhere else unfamiliar, you usually don't know what to expect... so you stay silent. You don't ask questions. You just do everything to get into the country. You protect everything you have with silence, so you won't get kicked out.

The May Day Rally is the only day an immigrant can feel backed up, protected, and loved by the community here. It's the only day where you can march in the streets shouting, and breaking your silence against the hostility that's brought upon you by those people who doesn't want you in "their" soil. It's the only day you can demand your rights to a nation where the Minutemen Project, the INS, and ICE are more favored than other institutions.
It's one of those days where you don't live in fear.

It still bothers me that I didn't go.
But next year... I'll be there.


MIXED Tape.

The Final Project has been decided on as the "mixed tape." I opted for a literary magazine, but in the end, I didn't really care. It's what everyone wanted, so we had fun with it.

At least I did.

It was hard to get everyone together at one place, being that it's Finals week and all. Even then, going to Jordan's house late on Thursday, singing the chorus multiple times, and writing a last-minute poem in Tagalog was a lot of time. Okay, I was frustrated a lot...but y'know? That made it more fun for me. Just hearing the play backs, and seeing it all come together slowly made it seem worth the frustration.

Just so you know, I was frustrated because at the last minute, people were still arguing between doing a mixed tape or just a literary magazine. I didn't care whichever one, but some people were stern about the latter. Compromising was really difficult, and it kind of got under my skin, because I just really wanted to get over it. As a self-criticism, I think I should've stepped up myself and just helped finalize the situation. I should've just taken one side instead of going one way or another. That probably would've helped the situation, but seeing that I wasn't in the first planning process, I didn't really know if I was at the right position to step up. I had missed the first final project planning process because of an important class assignment, so I wasn't able to actually sell my own ideas for the final project... but that's done and over with, and we got the mixed tape DONE. And hell... it was fun.

I just wish Kristina was there to lend her beautiful voice. Aww Kristina, maybe next time. I hope you feel better. :)

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So.There you are. As we say in tagalog: TAPOS (finished).

I hope y'all have a good summer! Don't think twice about hitting me up to kick it either. I would mos def LOVE to kick it with any of my kasamas. So HOLLER. It was nice konnecting with you all.

PAALAM!
Faye