Two Birds With One Stone

Blog 1.

Mga Kasama,

I apologize for this late blog, and I promise to never miss it again. I have been really busy for the past month to a point where I sometimes forget to breathe. You know how that feels? When you're just so exhausted, so busy, so stressed out that you inhale and forget to exhale? Yeah. That's how I am with 19 units and a job wherein 3-4 year olds would throw blocks at me if I don't give them any attention.

But it came to me on our first day of J.U.F.R.A.N. that maybe I'm tired not because of my schedule, but because of such a lack of inspiration.

Being in BUS 113 for the first time with my new kasamas made me feel good. Just the ice breaker got my energy up. I really think my fellow Jufranians and I are gonna have good energy all throughout the semester, and I definitely look forward to kicking it with them.

As far as suggestions go, I agree with Pete--we need more snacks! Not like it's a requirement, but I found that food is a good way to get everyone comfortable with each other. The fact that we can share a small box of malt balls was proof enough that being kasamas with these folks will be no problem. See? We can make the best out of small things.That's step #1 to knitting a close internship.

I'm excited to get to know you all!

In ode to my excitement is this picture that I took about 2 July 4ths ago.


Star Spangles by ~FayeYAHEY on deviantART
A spitting image of my energy with my kasamas!

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Blog 2.

Mga Kababayan,

After further reflecting upon the Land is Life ED and our Human Web, I started reminiscing:

I am an immigrant, as I have told many of you already, and last Friday made me feel content. There is hope after all.

The first 4 years of my life here was probably the worst 4 years of my life.

I was forced to leave my Mama (my grandma) and Papa (my gramps)-- the two people who took care of me since birth.

I was forced to leave my best friend who was my "kumare" since our Gerber days.

I was forced to leave my aunties, uncles, cousins, yayas, ninongs, ninangs--every loved one who loved me since birth.

I was forced to leave in exchange of displacement, and become one of those Filipinos who fled the country and came back in a form of a Western Union transaction or a 20x20 Balikbayan box. I didn't want to be like that, but I had to.

There was never a day that I stopped asking my parents why we had to move here when we were living a decent, happy life in the Philippines. Yeah, it was tough at times, and the kurakot-of-a government was a pain in the ass--but it was tolerable.

"It's for you, anak. There are more opportunities here," my dad would tell me.

"But there are opportunities there, too!" I would snap back.

And my dad would just smile, and laugh that annoying you-have-no-idea-what-you're-talking-about laugh.

"There are, but you'd have to work ten times as much to find them," he said.

He had a point, and I hated it.

Why was it like that? Why can't I live a happy life in the Philippines and be separated from the people I love? Why do I have to experience being displaced, and be put in a country where you felt small because you were an immigrant?

Was it necessary for my dad, a geophysicist-turned-engineer, to work as a custodian for Food 4 Less before he got a job as a data analyst?

Was it necessary for my mom, a UP Literate professor, to work as a teacher assistant in a condescending Catholic private school?

Was it necessary for my Kuya to give up his passion for music in exchange of a petty medical degree that'll "make ends meet?"

Was it necessary for me to be put in ESL classes for 3 years despite the fact that I can spell better than my English teacher?

Was it fair for my little brother to witness every single one in his family step on their shattered pride and dreams?

The only thing that made it feel worth it is when we would get ecstatic pleas of thank you's from our relatives back in the Philippines after we'd send them a fat Balikbayan box. Especially when I would get a letter from my 7-year-old nephew, thanking me for buying him a set of colored pencils--the reason he's top 1 in his class.

I don't mind suffering a little bit of comfort anymore, because I want to provide for my nieces and nephews enough so that they won't have to end up displaced like me.

I hope this rather long entry of mine will make my fellow Jufranians understand the reasons why they're here.

I'm pretty sure I went through the same things your parents have.

They came here for you. So you won't have to be the one suffering through the transition of leaving a country you've grown to love.

They came here for you, and thank goodness they did. Because if they hadn't, you wouldn't be in this internship right now, learning Land is Life.

You wouldn't have realized that being Filipino American puts you in a much better position to make change.

Seeing you all realizing the importance of connecting back to the homeland gave me hope, because finally! My nieces and nephews won't have to think that a Balikbayan is just a boxful of goods, but an actual person who has love for their country.

As for my creative piece, this is my nephew Zan. He's one of the reasons why I work hard to finish my degree, so I can come back to him and watch him grow up to be a smart young man! YAY!:


Singa by ~FayeYAHEY on deviantART

I can't wait til we all get together once more!

Kapayapaan,
Faye from the Bay